After we got home last night and realized that Sasha had disappeared within about a 15 minute window of time from our arrival back home, we spent a couple of hours canvassing the pitch black alleys and sleeping neighborhood.  Nothing.  My mom posted a lost dog ad on Craigslist, which is about as popular here in Colorado Springs as Facebook is to any college student anywhere in America.  We had to go to sleep in hopes she would find her way home overnight.

I slept like shit, and woke up around 6:30 ready to start searching.  We made posters and went around town taping them up.  We had things to get done today with the car title being transferred to my mom, but we were waiting at the Colorado Springs Humane Society when it opened at 11.  We checked the lost and found room.  Nothing.  Checked all the public kennels.  Nothing.  Asked to see the animals in the back – did.  Nothing.

We went to get some lunch, but by the time we got our food (Korean!) I was about ready to fall asleep.  We went home after lunch and I fell asleep for a couple of hours.  Got up and put more posters around town.  Went back to the Humane Society right before they closed.  Nothing.

At 7pm we got a call saying that a woman had seen her miles south of here earlier this evening.  Meaning she could be anywhere by now.

Did I mention that at 7 am I sliced my big toe open on a piece of metal?  That I can’t walk on it very well?  Or that we got even more important, grave, and sad family news today that I’m not even going to talk about on my blog?

We’ve run out of time.  We have to leave Colorado Springs without our dog tonight.  We have to leave our Toonsis here, in this foreign town, where we’ve seen foxes roaming around at night, where she has no sense of direction, where people love dogs and might not ever decide to call her in as found.  We have to leave this town and may never see our dog again.  Or if someone does call and say they found her, we might be able to ship her to California in time for our flight on Wednesday, but probably not.

After all of the time and energy to get her ready for an international flight.  After all the money for health inspections, certifications from the State of Iowa, expedited mail all over the country, thousands of calls to Korea and Asiana Airways and Air Busan.  After spending the last year training her, falling in love with her, convincing Steven that this dog is AWESOME.  We’re driving out of town in about an hour, and most likely it will be without our little Toonsis.

I hate that I’m crying about a damn lost dog when there are so many other important things in this life and in this world to cry about and exert energy over.  But what an impossible situation.  We arrive last night with intentions of leaving this afternoon to get to California in time to see my family before catching a flight to Korea on Wednesday, and Sasha disappears.  If she had disappeared at any other time, or in any other city, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.  But now?  Here?

Is this karma?  Is this fate?  Is this just a really horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible stupid thing that happened?  All I know is, I can’t really feel anything at all.  This is SO DUMB.  I’m really really sad.

Lost Dog Poster