That’s how I onomatopoetically write a sigh.

Here’s the deal. We want to come home, but the see-saw is just slightly heavier on the “reasons to stay” side. That’s also the side my brain sits on.

My heart sits on the other side with all of my friends.

Kelly. Kat. Kyle and Meghan (and Ponyo and Elle). Then Kate and Chaz (and Trooper). Callie and Aaron. Rachel Morgan. Chelsea, and on Sunday, Ian.

Kayse will leave soon. She’s been with us all the way back when we were all applying. We did our TEFL classes and certification together. She’s Sasha’s best friend. She’s always up for some fun.

Rena and Patrick will leave too! That was unexpected. We don’t see them a lot, but they are some of the first people we met here. They make us laugh; our DVD-방 buddies.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Ashley is still here, but she lives in Ulsan; Angel will live somewhere north of that. Nikki will be here today or tomorrow! Right here in Busan! But not sure where in Busan she’ll be. But if they dont sign on for another year… then we’ll definitely be all alone by about this time next year.

I know we’ll make more friends. We always do. But from here on out, it won’t be the same. Anyone else we meet will certainly be temporary, without a sure chance of seeing them again (unless people from Iowa are coming that I’m unaware of).

Hhhhhhhhhhhh.

I miss my close friends sooooo much right now. I am worried what staying another year will do to my relationships with people. I want to go back to school; if I stay, I can pay off my old loans and pay for most of the next thing I want to do (that is a huge incentive to stay), but staying another year puts that off, too. Although there are some online classes I should be able to take, I think.

I miss my mom and my brother, and I haven’t even met my nephew yet. I miss my grandparents, my step mom and step siblings, my aunts and uncles and cousins. I didn’t see any of them that much, but being in an American time zone does help.

Duplicitous life.

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