I get really really disgruntled sometimes all the time when people say they are going to come visit us and then they go back on their word. Is there something about us being abroad that suddenly provides wiggle room for breaking one’s words?

I mean, if you said to your friend, “I’m going to come to your wedding!” and then the next time you saw them, you were like, “No, wait, I’m not.” And then the next time you saw them, you said, “No, I’m doing it, I totally am, I’m going to come.” and then the following visit with them you said, “Well, some things came up, so it doesn’t seem possible anymore…” and then the next time you were like, “I’m planning on it! I have taken steps to insure that it happens!” and then the next time you were like, “Ah shoot, I scheduled a dentist visit for that same day, sorry,” and then the next time you were all, “I’ll come, but only if it’s not a drain on my budget and also if it falls in line with my specific vacation time,” and then the next time you’re saying, “I’m coming, but I probably won’t come if I see a black cat that week…” Don’t you think your friend would be kind of frustrated/hurt/betrayed?

Well, that’s how I feel. Every single time.

I absolutely get it that traveling abroad can take a load of money and vacation time. It’s not something I’ve expected people to do for me. I can say without a doubt that if my brother or mom or someone in my family, or any of my really close girl friends had moved to another country for two-three years, I would not even HESITATE to make plans ASAP to visit them. I’d have started saving money right away. But that’s just me – traveling is in my nature.

But what I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around are my friends and family that keep jerking me along. As if when they tell me they are going to do something, and then they back out, and especially when they do it repeatedly, it’s NOT going to hurt.

Am I being selfish? Maybe.

But are you being hurtful and insensitive and do you think your words mean anything to me anymore? I mean… should they?