every time i dont want to do something

these days

i make myself do it.

i shout in my own ear, “don’t be scared, that’s stupid!”

then i pick up the phone and call the dentist and politely ask them if they speak english-

without any fear at all.

when the part of me that is 26 years old says,

“i won’t go do this thing i want to do, because i don’t want to do it alone.”

I say, “shut up! being alone isn’t bad. it’s not bad and it makes you stronger.”

then i put on my shoes and i go do it.

Any time, in the past, that I’d ask someone to come with me, because I’m nervous,

or ask my husband to speak for me, so that I don’t have to fall on my face (or even try),

now-

I force myself to stand and go and speak and listen and be.

it’s empowering

to learn to walk

(alone).

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